TLDR; The Four Tendencies
- Nick
- Mar 4
- 1 min read
TLDR saves you time on books that you might read, or be recommended. One such book is The Four Tendencies, by Gretchen Rubin. This author does not generally cover the type of books that I read (for instance, The Happiness Project) but was recommended to me by some algorithm at my local library. I was pleasantly surprised.
The author splits people into four broad categories, based off their desire to meet inner and outer expectations. The Upholder meets both, the Questioner meets inner expectations but not outer, the Obliger meets outer expectations but not inner and the Rebel does whatever they want (aka neither).
At first, this seems like a trivial insight. Splitting people into categories provides no inherent benefit, so I did consider stopping after the first chapter. However, the book goes into detail on how people can work with each other based off their group and their relationship. How does an Upholder deal with their Questioner spouse, or a Obliger professional deal with a Rebel customer? Having seen both, it provided some interesting and actionable insight.
On the basis this is actionable, I suggest you look it up. Perhaps not to add to your library, but to find on a bookshelf near you and skim whenever you find an interpersonal conflict coming up.
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